Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Who heals all your diseases...


This week as I've been reflecting (or attempting to reflect...as much as a mama of little ones is able to reflect) on the suffering of Jesus. At times in my relationship with Christ, this has been an abstract concept for me. The benefits of my salvation have been equally abstract as well. I am realizing that these two concepts are inextricably linked. The more I gaze on His suffering and all that He went through, the more my heart sees and is amazed by the benefits that I now have because of His sacrifice.

One benefit (from the long list in Psalm 103) that keeps coming to my mind is this beautiful phrase..."Bless the Lord, O my soul...who heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit." This is fresh on my mind as I have labored in prayer over my sweet niece, Abagail. Several months ago, she unexplainably was unable to swallow liquids. They went straight into her little lungs. For a (then) 5 months old, this is a major problem. Long story short, she ended up having a feeding tube inserted in her nose, so that she could continue to eat and live.

When I went and visited over spring break, I had the joyful privilege of carrying her around in the snugli while the other kids ran around one day. One thing that I noticed, that completely broke my heart, was how little people would LOOK at her. Some would look, see her tube, and glance away, with an embarrassed expression on their faces. Some did not even see her at all. My sister later shared with me that this was "normal"--something that her heart had experienced many times as well.

After I came home, I began to realize how much I do not SEE people, especially people with disabilities. I glance away quickly, feeling awkward. I think, "did they notice me staring?". I even found myself walking the long way around people in the mall, just to avoid the feeling of not knowing what to do. Jesus quietly convicted my heart of my self centeredness, my desire to be comfortable, to not feel awkward, and my insensitivity to the needs of others. The NEED to be SEEN.

This was not true of the life of Jesus. He always looked at people. He saw them--not just the outside, but straight down to their souls. He saw their deep longings, their broken hearts, the baggage that they carried, the crushing weight of sin that they bore. He looked. He saw. He moved towards them.

Isaiah 53 was one of my favorite passages in college. One of the phrases from that passage comes to mind when I think of all these things. "He was despised and forsaken of men, a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief; and like one from whom men hide their face, He was despised, and we did not esteem Him." Not only did Jesus see those that no one else even bothered to look at, He also became unseen for us. He even experienced the rejection of His Father. So marred and disfigured by sin, even His own Father turned away His face from the Beloved Son.

What kind of God does this? What love must be ours? I am rejoicing that, through His disfigurement, His rejection, we are healed. Not just in the next life, when He comes to make all things right and new, but in THIS life as well. After months of praying, my niece is healed. No diagnosis, because earthly doctors didn't know what was wrong. But her Great Physician did, and He moved to graciously heal.

He is healing my heart too, of my addiction to self, my need for comfort, my desire to always look like I know what to say, know what to do in every situation. It is a slow process. I am looking, trying to see the person behind the disability, the disfigurement. I am praying in my heart for them and for an opportunity to speak, if my King desires for me to do so. I am looking forward in HOPE to the day when there will be no tears, no sickness, no sorrow, no pain, no death. He is near, His Kingdom in at hand. It will be a glorious day when we walk on the sand of Jordan's banks.


Abagail, healed, redeemed, restored

Monday, April 4, 2011

January and February in Photos

I can not believe we are already in April! Where has the first part of 2011 gone? I am very behind on posting as our lives have been pretty crazy. These last few months have been stretching for my faith and have forced my heart to grab onto the HOPE that we have in Jesus.

We have experienced some sadnesses and trials that have caused me to take a hard look at my life and my faith and ask myself some searching questions. I have had to take an honest inventory of my hopes and have had to scrutinize my heart. I have had to admit to myself, and to God, that I have been looking to certain things, other than Him, to give me security, comfort and peace.

Though seasons where God strips you of your idols are painful, they are also beautiful and rewarding. I have been blessed to see God's goodness, even in the midst of sorrow. I feel that my heart and His heart are becoming more tightly bound together. I believe in His faithfulness and love in new and real ways. I'm sure I'll be sharing more on those changes in later posts, but for now....PICTURES!

We took Harry to see a massive train show that came to town in January. My boy loves trains and it was fun to see him enjoying all of the exhibits! There are not very many pictures of him, because he was running around the convention center the whole time! Ken had fun trying to keep up with him:


Our downtown skyline recreated from legos!



We stood in line for FOREVER so they could ride Thomas for about 90 seconds! Harry was too interested in the ride to look at the camera. His is the profile you see riding in front of his sister. :)

Then, in February, Ken took Hannah to the annual Girl Scouts Father/Daughter dance. Harry and I went on a date as well. So much fun to spend some alone time with our kids!

Hannah and her handsome date!





This girl loves to hula hoop and dance! They had a lot of fun together.
"The Lord bless you, and keep you; the Lord make His face shine on you, and be gracious to you; the Lord lift up His countenance on you and give you peace."
Numbers 6:24-26

Fall