The VERY BEST thing about summer...

...is getting to spend loads of time with this girl! I miss her a lot during the school year, and summer is a fun catch up time for us. We've been shopping, picked out our summer reading books, painted toe-nails, gone on bike rides, played at the pool together, and have just enjoyed each other's company. Days full of memories to treasure.

Here are the pictures from her "Bridging Ceremony" for girl scouts. She is now officially a brownie! Yes, that means we will be selling cookies next year. What this means for me? I will now be able to order as many boxes of thin mints as I like without anyone knowing! he he he

My Little Slugger

Here's my handsome little man (and my other handsome man) in their baseball uniforms! It's been so fun watching Harry play and Ken help as an assistant coach. Fun days.

End of the Year Reports, for a 1st grader and her Mama

A few weeks ago, Hannah went with her class to the zoo. Each child picked an animal that they wanted to observe in their "habitat" and then wrote and presented an animal report at school the following week. Hannah picked the sea turtle as the animal that she wanted to observe. She was so cute at the sea turtle exhibit! She watched very carefully and patiently (as sea turtles are not your most active and exciting animals at the zoo). Her patience was rewarded when she got to see him swim slowly from the bottom of the pool to poke his head up for air and then swim back down.

At home she wrote an awesome report on sea turtles from a library book. We also printed off some pictures of sea turtles online so that she could have some visual interest on her poster board. Aside from helping her understand the diagram her teacher sent home and tracing lines on the paper for her to write on, I did not help her. She wanted to work independently, and the results were amazing! She decorated it with stickers and even put thought bubbles on some of the pictures. I was really proud of her hard work--it took her around 2 hours of concentrated working to pull the poster all together.

Her teacher liked her presentation so much that she asked if she could keep it as an example for her kids next year. I asked Hannah, and she said that she would like for her teacher to keep it. I was a little sad, but made sure that I snapped some photos before we left school.

It has been really fun to watch Hannah grow in her confidence this year. She never would have wanted to work independently at the beginning of the year or present anything in front of the class. She would barely speak in group time in September. Her teacher thought she couldn't read, because she was too shy to talk much to her. So much has changed! Yesterday when I visited her classroom, she was talking during group time, telling a long story to the whole class. Her presentation of her poster was great (so I heard), and the kids all loved her "jokes" of what the turtles were thinking.

I'm very thankful for how far she has come since September, for her sweet and patient teacher, and for the ways we have seen God working in her and for her this year. It's been a growing and stretching season for her as she has had to work through some of her insecurities and fears. My heart has broken on many occasions watching my tenderhearted child work through the pain of dealing with bullies, of feeling rejected, of sensing her own inabilities and short comings. Thankfully, these came in short spurts, otherwise I don't think we would have made it! There were lots of good parts mixed in too. One thought carried me through good and bad alike: It is such a comfort to know that everyday I drop her off and watch her walk through those doors, I am not sending her into the world alone.

My kids love the imagery of Psalm 23, of the Shepherd who walks alongside of them even in the darkness. His rod and staff comforts them, because in the dark, when they can not see, He can. He beats back their fears and holds their hand, so they can confidently walk in this world. What peace this visual picture brings to my own heart, of the Shepherd King holding hands with my children, guiding them with His staff and protecting them with His rod. "Even though I walk through the valley of deep darkness, I will not fear, for you are with me." Trusting God with my children has been a real struggle for me, but I am confident that He is able (seems like a no brainer, but the heart sometimes struggles to keep up with the head) and He is good. All the time. Even in pain.

"Only goodness and steadfast love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever."

Longing for Home

I've been experiencing more and more the desire to be living closer to our families. Our much loved parents/grandparents are both 8 hours away, my sister and her husband (as well as my nieces and nephew) are also 8 hours away, my youngest brother is 6 1/2 hours away, and my other brother has been living abroad for the last 3 years. Ken's only brother is 8 hours away as well. Ken and I only see our grandparents about once a year, which truly breaks my heart.

This is not what I thought our lives would look like. I always thought that my children would grow up alongside of cousins, aunts and uncles, great-grandparents and grandparents.

I was listening to a sermon not long ago about the deepest longings of our hearts. God did not intend for us to be separated from the people we love. He created us for unbroken fellowship, not just with Him, but also with each other. Our deepest longing is "to have love last", to be with the people we love forever. But, in this broken and fallen world, that is not our reality. Death occurs slowly. We are separated by sin, misunderstandings, grudges, distance (both emotionally and physically), and eventually by time and space when our loved ones pass away.

Our culture is one of constant change. People don't grow up and settle in the same towns anymore. Our loved ones live far away. Our siblings take jobs in far away places. Our best friends move to Africa. Children grow up and leave. We watch our parents age. Time moves quickly.

That's why even the best love, that of spouses and family and the dearest of friends, can not truly satisfy the deepest longings of our souls. There is only one Love that will never fail, never be separated from us, never leave us or forsake us, even in death. He calls Himself "our Eternal Dwelling Place". God longs to be our Home, our Family, our Parent, our Spouse, our closest Friend, our forever King. And our deepest longings can only be met in Him. Our hearts are safe in this Eternal Home.

He is a good and kind Father. He sent His son to turn back the clock, to undo death itself. He is recreating, reviving and renewing. It's taking a long time (to us), but one day we will know the joy of being in unbroken, forever fellowship with Him and also with the people we love, the people we have lost.

Until then, we long for, we wait for, we hope for this day. And we drive a lot. We talk on the phone a lot. We go on vacations together. We make the effort to be involved in our loved ones lives, because in the end, life is all about the relationships. Our relationship with God and our relationships with each other. They are what sanctify us. They are the means in which we share Christ with each other. They are what set up apart in a world that hungers for things that can never truly satisfy the soul. People are the treasures that we store up in Heaven.

I for one, echo the longings of John in the end of Revelation. "Come, King Jesus, come quickly!". We're ready.

Swimmin' Fools

One thing we have loved about living here is our indoor community pool! It is really nice to get to swim in a heated pool when it is still freezing outside. The kids took swimming lesson for 8 weeks. Last week was their final week. Hannah loves to swim and did really well. She is so fun to watch--completely fearless when she is in the water. This is not the norm for the other realms in her life, so it is a special joy to watch her take chances and venture out (all under the watchful eye of her instructors!). I look forward to seeing her grow and develop in her swimming skills over the summer!

Harry has decided that he is afraid of the "deep" water (which comes up to his chin). So, he decided half way through the classes that he just wasn't going to try to swim too much. He would rather just hang onto the swim instructor and kick his legs occasionally. However, he did persevere and complete all eight classes, and we are proud of him. I'll be honest, it was nice to see him have a somewhat healthy fear of SOMETHING. He's our risk taker, so I don't mind that he wants to be extra careful in the water. He's already enrolled for more lessons this summer, so hopefully he'll grow in his confidence as he learns new skills.

On a side note, Harry's favorite part of swim lessons was waiting for them to start. That was his opportunity to dance along with the old ladies in the water aerobics class. He's one of a kind!

Who heals all your diseases...

This week as I've been reflecting (or attempting to reflect...as much as a mama of little ones is able to reflect) on the suffering of Jesus. At times in my relationship with Christ, this has been an abstract concept for me. The benefits of my salvation have been equally abstract as well. I am realizing that these two concepts are inextricably linked. The more I gaze on His suffering and all that He went through, the more my heart sees and is amazed by the benefits that I now have because of His sacrifice.

One benefit (from the long list in Psalm 103) that keeps coming to my mind is this beautiful phrase..."Bless the Lord, O my soul...who heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit." This is fresh on my mind as I have labored in prayer over my sweet niece, Abagail. Several months ago, she unexplainably was unable to swallow liquids. They went straight into her little lungs. For a (then) 5 months old, this is a major problem. Long story short, she ended up having a feeding tube inserted in her nose, so that she could continue to eat and live.

When I went and visited over spring break, I had the joyful privilege of carrying her around in the snugli while the other kids ran around one day. One thing that I noticed, that completely broke my heart, was how little people would LOOK at her. Some would look, see her tube, and glance away, with an embarrassed expression on their faces. Some did not even see her at all. My sister later shared with me that this was "normal"--something that her heart had experienced many times as well.

After I came home, I began to realize how much I do not SEE people, especially people with disabilities. I glance away quickly, feeling awkward. I think, "did they notice me staring?". I even found myself walking the long way around people in the mall, just to avoid the feeling of not knowing what to do. Jesus quietly convicted my heart of my self centeredness, my desire to be comfortable, to not feel awkward, and my insensitivity to the needs of others. The NEED to be SEEN.

This was not true of the life of Jesus. He always looked at people. He saw them--not just the outside, but straight down to their souls. He saw their deep longings, their broken hearts, the baggage that they carried, the crushing weight of sin that they bore. He looked. He saw. He moved towards them.

Isaiah 53 was one of my favorite passages in college. One of the phrases from that passage comes to mind when I think of all these things. "He was despised and forsaken of men, a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief; and like one from whom men hide their face, He was despised, and we did not esteem Him." Not only did Jesus see those that no one else even bothered to look at, He also became unseen for us. He even experienced the rejection of His Father. So marred and disfigured by sin, even His own Father turned away His face from the Beloved Son.

What kind of God does this? What love must be ours? I am rejoicing that, through His disfigurement, His rejection, we are healed. Not just in the next life, when He comes to make all things right and new, but in THIS life as well. After months of praying, my niece is healed. No diagnosis, because earthly doctors didn't know what was wrong. But her Great Physician did, and He moved to graciously heal.

He is healing my heart too, of my addiction to self, my need for comfort, my desire to always look like I know what to say, know what to do in every situation. It is a slow process. I am looking, trying to see the person behind the disability, the disfigurement. I am praying in my heart for them and for an opportunity to speak, if my King desires for me to do so. I am looking forward in HOPE to the day when there will be no tears, no sickness, no sorrow, no pain, no death. He is near, His Kingdom in at hand. It will be a glorious day when we walk on the sand of Jordan's banks.

Abagail, healed, redeemed, restored

January and February in Photos

I can not believe we are already in April! Where has the first part of 2011 gone? I am very behind on posting as our lives have been pretty crazy. These last few months have been stretching for my faith and have forced my heart to grab onto the HOPE that we have in Jesus.

We have experienced some sadnesses and trials that have caused me to take a hard look at my life and my faith and ask myself some searching questions. I have had to take an honest inventory of my hopes and have had to scrutinize my heart. I have had to admit to myself, and to God, that I have been looking to certain things, other than Him, to give me security, comfort and peace.

Though seasons where God strips you of your idols are painful, they are also beautiful and rewarding. I have been blessed to see God's goodness, even in the midst of sorrow. I feel that my heart and His heart are becoming more tightly bound together. I believe in His faithfulness and love in new and real ways. I'm sure I'll be sharing more on those changes in later posts, but for now....PICTURES!

We took Harry to see a massive train show that came to town in January. My boy loves trains and it was fun to see him enjoying all of the exhibits! There are not very many pictures of him, because he was running around the convention center the whole time! Ken had fun trying to keep up with him:

Our downtown skyline recreated from legos!

We stood in line for FOREVER so they could ride Thomas for about 90 seconds! Harry was too interested in the ride to look at the camera. His is the profile you see riding in front of his sister. :)

Then, in February, Ken took Hannah to the annual Girl Scouts Father/Daughter dance. Harry and I went on a date as well. So much fun to spend some alone time with our kids!

Hannah and her handsome date!

This girl loves to hula hoop and dance! They had a lot of fun together.